I've realized how easy it is to get mad at God. Sometimes, I know it's wrong and I try to ignore those feelings inside, but usually, you just have to cool off before you can do anything. Sometimes I think God won't ever give me something good, or when He does, it's always followed by something horrible.
I find times like these frustrating. We do what we don't want to do. On occasion, these feelings get too strong and we dwell on them for too long. And that's when some of us choose to abandon God. To give up on His ways and follow our own.
It reminds me of a line in a hymn that's one of my friend's favorites:
"Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love."
It's sometimes very difficult to deal with my human emotions. Emotions can be almost impossible to control at times. Sometimes anger cannot be tamed, no matter what you do.
"Prone to leave the God I love." Almost a sort of oxymoron (not really, but I can't describe it in another way). Why would anyone want to leave someone they love? I mean, God is the most amazing, wonderful, loving, merciful, indescribable Deity, and yet we want to leave. Run away and do our own thing. And after all our partying and "fun" is over with, and we're left empty, we come crawling back on our knees, praying that He'll just let us into His house. Even if it's just to sweep the dirt off the floor, we'd be willing to do that. But instead of ordering us to go fall on our faces and stay there for all eternity, God does the unimaginable.
He takes our hand, pulls us off our knees, and wraps His arms around us.
Those great big, loving, all-encompassing arms. And forgives us. Loves us even after we reject Him over and over again. What kind of love is that? Nothing we'll be capable of in this world. It just blows my mind. That is love. True love. Real love. Everlasting love.
E: Embarrassing Moment
It's funny. If not for this past winter, I wouldn't have had anything very interesting to share with you. I find many things embarrassing that the normal person wouldn't. And actually this event I'm about to tell you isn't the time I've felt most embarrassed in my life. But it's the one that should've been. So I'll tell you the story.
This February of 2011, our youth group had its annual snow camp. Because of where we were staying, we didn't have access to many showers, so we asked a local recreational center if we could use theirs. They said yes, so one night, we all headed over there to use their showers.
After showering (which was a whole other event in and of itself), most of us girls came out to the main wallyball area. Our church's young adult group was using one of the rooms and they were in the middle of a game. And of course the whole wall near us is clear... whatever. Glass? Plastic? Unimportant. Most of the guys were still in the showers, except for maybe one.
I was just standing, talking to some friends with sweatpants over my PJ pants and a hoodie on. As I was standing there, suddenly I felt a light tug on my pants, and an uncomfortable draft.
My friend had decided it would be very funny to pull my sweats down to just my shorts.
Sadly, along the way, the shorts decided to join in for the ride down my legs.
I am very thankful that most of the guys were in the showers, minus one who happened to be standing directly behind me. I thank God that he was kind enough not to hint that he saw anything, though, more than likely, he did. I do regret the fact that my back was towards the clear wall separating me and the young adults from our church.
I also regret the fact that most of the guys were on the side of the court opposite me, therefore leading their faces towards my direction.
I thank God that my reaction towards embarrassment or mistakes is not a horrible feeling of shame, but I usually feel like laughing it off. I haven't gotten back at my friend who intended to pants me, but not as badly as she did. I went back and forth between making fun of her for almost completely pantsing me, and trying to make her realize she's not THAT stupid.
But either way, I think this moment in my life can be named the most embarrassing moment of my life.
Well... there is ONE other time that.... well, y'all don't need to know that...
Cheers♥
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